E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

“I’m whoring out my daughter…for Life!”

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Recently, America has become fascinated with Child Beauty Pageants. You may look down your nose at these tacky/horrifying events, but just people yourself in the shoes of an obese gay guy stuck in Bumblefuck, Alabama and you’d understand why these events go on…

Because these pageants are nothing if not classy, TLC aired an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras where a little girl named Paisley was dressed up by her mom, Wendy Dickey to look like a hooker from the movie Pretty Woman. It caused such a stir (I can’t imagine why) that now Dickey is auctioning off the outfit to “Georgia Right to Life, an anti-abortion organization Dickey refers to as ‘Paisley’s charity'”. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1,000 times: 6 year olds hate abortion.

Listen bitch, you can’t have it both ways: either dress your child up like a whore and be (albeit totally twistedly) sex-positive or be be anti-sex and anti-choice. Dressing your daughter up like a hooker kinda throws moral-ambiguity out the window.

Furthermore, who besides pedophiles would want this outfit? Wendy Dickey might as well yell from the roof tops “Hey Perverts! Support the unborn and my very very sexy 1st grader!”

In the end Wendy Dickey shouldn’t be handing her cash out the anti-choice groups, rather she should save it to pay for her daughters many future psychiatrist bills…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 9, 2011 at 2:32 pm

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