E PLURIBUS MORON

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The Baby Boomer Boogie Man

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With the advertising-and-subscription based news business model failing so miserably, some publications have turned towards scaring their target demographics to drum up business. Only unlike in the late 19th century this shit is not about those dastardly Spaniards…

In today’s world of news, the easiest targets are the Baby Boomers, and there is no one better to scare these people than the The New York Times, who today wrote a lovely piece about how Baby Boomer’s children will never find jobs. Looks like little Emily and Josh will be using their degrees from Darmouth and Michigan to do lowly awful things like be someone’s assistant and wait tables. They might as well bare knuckle box hobos for meth!

But don’t worry, frightened and stupid Baby Boomer. Sure your generation ruined the economy for everyone, but these articles pop up every few weeks simply to scare you into subscribing to the New York Times. And you should subscribe to them: not just because they’re the Paper of Record, but also because your children will need copies of the paper to build their paper-mache shanty towns.

Just think of it as recycling. Recycling is hip! You’re a hip mom!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

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