E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Barack needs to learn how to be a BITCH

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Hillary Clinton. Anna Wintour. Regina George. These women all know how to get shit DONE. And ya know why? Because they are not afraid to embrace their inner bitch. Barack Obama could learn a thing or two from these bad ass bitches.

Take what happened yesterday with President Obama request to address a joint session of Congress on his new jobs plan: The administration requested Wednesday the 7th for the address, but that is the same night as the 3rd of 28,000 Republican Presidential debates. Because America must not be denied Herman Cain, John Boehner (whose office is in charge of planning joint sessions of Congress) freaked out and, for the first time in history, denied the president’s request. Obama caved and moved the debate to Thursday the 8th, the first night of the NFL regular season.

None of this would have happened if Obama had known how to use his inner bitch. Oh sure, it was rude to schedule his address right in the middle of a republican presidential debate (frankly it probably gave those morons on stage a little more credit than they deserve), but to then cave and move his address to the next day, when the older white guys he wants to win over will be watching football, was fucking wimpy.

Obama forgets that he has the bully bitchy pulpit. He should have said “Fine Boehner, ya know what? Fuck you. If you won’t let me, the President of the United States, address the Congress, then I’ll just have my own network broadcast at the same time as your dumb little debate and spend the whole time calling you guys assholes”. Now that’s creatively bitchy! Bitches gots to be creative!

Or maybe Barack should follow his daughter Malia to school one day—she’s a 13-year-old girl and those things are vicious! He could learn a thing or two. Maybe practice his bitch by saying Boehner got a nose job or telling Paul Ryan he likes his tie and then saying to the cameras “that’s the ugliest f-ing tie I’ve ever seen”. Like I said: get creative!

Sigh. If only David Axelrod were a tranny with a screw driver in her purse this administration could actually get stuff done…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 1, 2011 at 9:14 am

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