Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Foreign Policy meets Fart Policy

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Are you male? Did you ever go to over night camp? Then you know all too well the hilarious noises that the body can produce.

Now imagine a boys over night camp with nuclear weapons and you’ve got the military! And whaddya know, the military has the same basic sleepaway camp problems. This was revealed recently when the military decided that “audible farting has been banned…because it offends the Afghans”.

Umm, shouldn’t it offend the Americans there too? Clearly the Afghans are right in not liking our booming American flatuelence. Is this why we can’t keep a decent coalition together too? NATO is begging the Turks or whatever for troops and they’re like “Awww we’d love to help but those Americans are just so gassy!” Finally, I’d like to point out that some Afghanis seem to abide or even embrace the Taliban, but not farts. Looks like both our cultures have pretty screwed up priorities.

I mean, maybe this was what was keeping us from victory there?

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

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