Earthquake strikes ruining your Chicken Salad Sandwich
BREAKING NEWS: The earth….she is angry.
As you and your coworkers are very aware of right now, a 5.8 magnitude lunchtime earthquake struck in Central Virginia, being felt in DC, Philly, Ohio, NYC and by Barack Obama’s satanist orgy vacation group in Martha’s Vineyard. Couple that with the impending ass-faced Hurricane that just ruined my weekend plans and it is clear we have reached the end of days.
I don’t wanna die before I get to vote for Michele Bachmann!!!!
UPDATE (4:35)—Ummm the Washington Monument might be tilting/might fall over thanks to the quake? I’m afraid nothing would better symbolize the end of America’s world dominance like losing our nation’s largest and most famous dong shaped monument…
UPDATE (9:45 Tuesday)—Okay so the Washington Monument didn’t fall over, but they did discover cracks in it! Ugh just what DC needs: more crack(s).