E PLURIBUS MORON

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The Big O takes a Big V

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Well it’s late August and you know what that means: you can finally look at porn on your work computer because all your colleagues are away on vacation.

Speaking of people taking vacation, Mitt Romney and others are VERY upset that Barack Obama has gone on vacation to Martha’s Vineyard. Oh sure Congress is out of session and the Tea Party has made it clear that the Legislative Branch will be as dysfunctional as a Polish submarine until the 2012 election, but people are still pissed and I think I know why: going to Martha’s Vineyard is not terribly original.

Really whod does that play to politically? Massachusetts voters? Obama could gay marry the corpse of Osama Bin Laden and still get their support. So, that said, he are a list of vacations the Obama’s might want to consider to score some more political points.

To appease the Latinos- Just go barbecue in the park. Mexicans love barbecueing in public parks

To appease Oprah– Go to Hawaii where they’ll write in their journals, get salt scrubs and get lavendar colonics. His anus will smell like a French garden!

To appease the GOP- Go to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in sunny southern California and weep at his grave for a week

To appease the Birthers/Donald Trump: Why of course visit his birth nation of Kenya/The Bowels of Hell!

To appease Michele Bachmann- Go back in time to the days of the Founding Fathers and help join in their famous fight against slavery!

To appease bros: Fly to Europe with the guys from the Hamilton College Soccer team and drink your way through Dublin, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Prague. Woooooo!

To appease gun nuts: Vist the scenic ghettos of the Rust Belt and really put that concealed carry permit to good use.

To appease disenchanted liberals: Did anyone say Compost Camp?? NO. They didn’t. Now shut the fuck up commies and vote for him.

To appease robots: ERROR ERROR ROBOTS DON’T NEED VACATION ERROR

And so forth.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 19, 2011 at 10:59 am

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