E PLURIBUS MORON

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Abercrombie and Sitch

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Imagine, if you will, being so disgusting that a company whose entire advertising scheme looks like gay porn publicly tells you that you’re too gross to wear their clothing. Such is the life of The Situation from The Jersey Shore.

MSNBC is reporting that your trampy little cousin’s favorite retailer Abercrombie and Fitch has expressed concern about the Situation wearing their branded clothing on his hit reality show. In its press release the company said “this association (with the Situation) is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans”. Indeed, they’re willing to pay him to stop wearing their clothing!

First of all, is Abercrombie and Fitch really an aspirational brand? I just thought it was where 15-year-old girls went to find the men who would eventually statutory rape them: the Sitch seems PERFECT for that. He is their perfect celebrity: why not have Philly Blunts paySnoop Dogg to lay off their product? It’s madness. 

Also from a legal/military stand point this sets a dangerous precident: soon Al Qaeda will be sporting baggy cargo shorts and logo emblazened t-shirts just to extort money out Abercrombie and Fitch. It’s a lose/lose “situation”.

There is no word yet however as to whether or not Valtrex thinks their association with The Jersey Shore is bad for their company’s image.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 17, 2011 at 11:01 am

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