E PLURIBUS MORON

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“That’s right honey, mommy was briefly relevant”

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So, umm, Hillary Duff is pregnant? Wtf. Isn’t she twelve? She was twelve when I was twelve and therefore she must still be twelve.

I have no objections to her procreating I suppose, but I’d bet dollars to horse-faced-donuts that her manager/crazy mother forced her to get pregnant to keep her faltering career alive. Those Lizzie McGuire and Cheaper by the Dozen residuals must not be coming in like they used to so she had to get knocked up to get a little attention.

I mean, what other industry besides Hollywood stupidly demands you get preggers to advance your career? “I don’t know Chuck, this neurosurgeon seems like she’s using birth control. Better get the one who has uncontrollable mood swings and farts endlessly”.

Doesn’t she know there are better ways to land a Hallmark TV Movie deal? What ever happened to old fashioned Twitter-divorces, plastic surgery, or blowing an executive producer? Hollywood’s golden days are over I’m afraid…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 15, 2011 at 11:55 am

Posted in Show Business

Tagged with , , , ,

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