E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The Mark(et) of the Beast

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I hope you’ve all done your neck stretches, because over the past few days the stock market has had some crazy ups and downs. Yesterday it lost big, and as of 11:00 am on Tuesday August 9th the DOW is shooting up! Ugh bi-polar stock markets are the worst.

Some people however are even seeing signs of satanism in this instability, as the S&P lost 6.66% yesterday. 6.66? It’s the mark of the beast! Satan is here and he’s playing the free-floating capilization-weighted indexes (No, I don’t know what that means either folks)!

Of course, this market turmoil is just terrible for Barack Obama, what with his administration’s lackluster performance and well-known ties to the Prince of Darkness.

I’ll tell you who this bode well for: Rick Perry. His state-sponsored Jesus-fest this weekend showed the world that the key to economic success is through massively under-funding social programs and out of control deregulation beating Satan in a wrestling match.

Hallelujah!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am

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