E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

John McCain is Gollum/Smeagol

with 2 comments

Listen, when John McCain makes speeches that are relatively sane AND reference the Lord of the Rings, it makes one wonder what the point of this blog is. Check out the video below where John McCain reams the Tea Party for thinking that letting the Balrog of default into our financial Middle Earth would in anyway be good for the country and/or bad for Barack Obama.

Now, it’s obvious that John Boehner’s plan has some horrible faults, but to see John McCain talk calmly and rationally about how dangerous the Tea Party is, well, that’s kind of amazing. McCain’s been such a dick for the past couple of years it’s almost like he has two personalities, one that is okay and sensitive and the other that is evil and obsessed with….OH MY GOD JOHN MCCAIN IS GOLLUM/SMEAGOL!

My proof? First of all, he is a weird little creature whose age is impossible to tell. Secondly, how else would John McCain know who the Hobbits were if he didn’t lead them through the Swamps of Nindalf? It seems to me that just like his earlier pursuit of the Ring turned him from okay Smeagol into evil Gollum, his later pursuit of the Presidency turned him from good maverick McCain into evil conservative dickbag McCain.

Hopefully, now that his chance of becoming president has burned in the fires of Mount Doom, McCain can keep giving more speeches like this. And not just because I enjoy writing about the Lord of the Rings.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 27, 2011 at 1:47 pm

2 Responses

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  1. […] we last left our cast of characters, John McCain was denouncing the Tea Party for being insane and revealed himself to the world to be Smeagol/Gollum. Little did he know that a Ringwraith named Sharron Angle (god I miss blogging about her) would […]

  2. […] a quick update on our on going coverage of stange debt ceiling analogies. We raved about John McCain’s Lord of the Rings references last week, and now I want to give a shout out to Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO) for saying something […]


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