Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Lady Lager and Woman Wheat

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As real crises swirl around us everywhere, the American beer industry is addressing and issue that as far as I can tell doesn’t exist: ladies are not drinking enough beer.

Molson Coors has announced it will begin to produce a lady-friendly beer called “Animée, a sparkling alcoholic beverage with lemony and rosé flavors”. First of all, they already have “lady beer” — its called Smirnoff Ice. Secondly, ummm, name choice? Any woman who has watched Japanese cartoons with their constant tentacle rape doesn’t exactly have positive associations with the word “Animé”.

But let’s get down to brass tacks: Are women really put off by beer? Sure most teenage girls are at first (except clearly the girls on 16 and Pregnant), but once you dangle the prospect of performing 30 seconds of oral sex on a Dartmouth lacrosse player they start drinking pretty quickly. From there it becomes a life long love.

So not only is this product ridiculous and unnecessary, but if they advertise lady beer the same way they do tampons it might put men off beer too. And without beer how could we put up with you broads? The system would collapse!


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

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