E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Cereal political offenders

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As the time-bomb-with-an-obvious-off-switch known as the debt ceiling races towards explosion, House Republicans have boldly proposed a plan that is as meaningless policy-wise as it is an infringement of copyright law.

Later today the House will vote on the Tea Party backed “Cut, Cap and Balance” Act, which would allow for an increase in the debt ceiling only after a massive cut in spending, placing a ludicrously low cap on that spending and pass a balanced budget amendment. Man those people must really enjoy that Congressional air-conditioning to waste their time on that unrealistic bullshit that will both never pass the Senate and would be vetoed by President Obama.

But wait! Something about “Cut, Cap and Balance” sounds familiar to me: oh my god the Tea Baggers just ripped off beloved cereal spokesmen Snap, Crackle and Pop! This is a terrible idea because as we all know children hate federal budget related cereals. Why do you think “Special (Interests) K” and “Dennis Kucinich’s Lucky Charms” failed so badly? Because even if you stuff it with marshmallows and chocolate kids do not appreciate the intricacies of federal budget negotiations.

So stop trying to piggy back off of a popular cereal with your wackadoo partisan non-sense Tea Party! You’ve already ruined tea and we’ll be damned if you take down the rest of our balanced breakfasts (balance breakfasts being Michelle Obama’s plot to impose socialism on our children’s blood sugar levels).

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 19, 2011 at 8:49 am

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