Harry Potter and the Prescription for Zoloft
Now while I would never let MY children read the Harry Potter books, what with their use of satanic magic and their godless European communism, but I am aware of that fact that their reign of terror is coming to an end with the premier of the final Harry Potter movie this weekend.
The Washington Times, which is like The New York Post but somehow LESS intellectual, has an article consoling Potter fans through their “Muggle grief”. You can read the article here if you want to feel a lot better about your own journalism skills.
Let me be clear: the only person who are allowed to grieve the end of the Harry Potter franchise is the CFO of Warner Brothers and the young actor who will forever be known as “The Fat Kid from the first couple Harry Potter flicks”. We shouldn’t grieve when film franchises end because usually its for the best (I dare you to watch that awful fourth Indiana Jones again); if anything we should grieve for the lost souls of those fictional characters in Harry Potter, as they will all go to hell for worshiping the Devil.