E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Jail time: Governors will be Governors!

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It is a sad day indeed my justice loving friends: Rod Blagojevich has been found guilty on 17 of 20 counts in his corruption trial. This makes him the 6th Governor of Illinois to be tried for corruption in less than a century which, might I say, is a ridiculous practice.

You see, the leader of the Illinois area has a long and storied history of corruption: The Cahokia Indians used to illicitly give corn to their leaders, which these Native peoples called bribes maize. Illinois’ first Governor, Shadrach Bond, was convicted of making up his first name. Len Small, a governor in the 1920s was shadily acquited and then 8 of 12 jurors were given state jobs (that one’s actually true).

So as you can see, punishing former Governors of Illinois for being corrupt is like punishing the sky for being blue, birds for chirping, or an anti-Gay Congressman for giving our squeezers in the House Gym showers. They can’t help it!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 27, 2011 at 4:59 pm

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