E PLURIBUS MORON

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Kumbaya in Canarsie

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Time was the term “urban camper” was just a polite way to call someone a hobo. Not anymore!

The Department of Interior (ya know, the part of our government that deals with bears and such) has announced plans to encourage “urban camping”, beginning with a pilot program in Brooklyn’s Floyd Bennett Field.

What a great way for visitors to New York City to streamline their interactions with deranged homeless people! Americans are sure to like it, as guys with beards and useless Masters degrees will do anything with the adjective “urban” in front of it. Also, European tourists, unencumbered by that old American interest in bathing, will love sleeping under the stars and being murdered by drug dealers. It’s like pest control but for Hipsters and Germans.

You hear that my friends who live in tiny apartments in Brooklyn? I don’t need your couches any more now that I can camp in America’s safe and clean cities.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm

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