E PLURIBUS MORON

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700 million facesbook

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Facebook has announced that it will soon have over 700,000,000 members, making it the rival of huge centers of human population like China, India, and Ke$ha’s little black book. Slut jokes aside, 700 million users is a lot of people frittering away there lives on such a silly website. Indeed, it’s explosive growth in just 6 years seems to have coincided with some other explosive trends in our nations history; that’s right, I’m talking about Facebook and its amazing time wasting skills as the root of the Great Recession.

Think about it! As Facebook, a website that can easily destroy even the stealiest producer’s nerve, grew and grew as the economy shrunk and shrunk. Now we must ask ourselves if the global marketplace withstand 1 billion people wasting so much time on one fucking website? Like the desperate farmers forced by population constraints to eak out a living in Africa’s sahel, will new users grow emaciated cows and sorghum in the digital semi-desert that remains of Farmville? (Man that was a complicated and somewhat tasteless joke!)

I guess I’m not saying that Facebook directly forces your grandmother to spend the last of her savings on the dog food she’ll use to stay alive, but I’m not NOT saying that…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 1, 2011 at 2:07 pm

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