E PLURIBUS MORON

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A scurrilous scallion scandal

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Hooray for Onions-and-Kids blogposts! I have written a lot more of these (e.g. one more) than I thought I would…

As you know, Michelle Obama is engaged in a nefarious plan to turn our nation’s children into rabbits (from pigs?) by feeding them nothing but green vegetables and rabbit steroids (red vegetables). How do we know it’s nefarious? Well as part of a federal program to get public school students to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, D.C. elementary schoolers were served raw scallions.

Now the funny thing is that the breathless account of this event in the Washington Examiner informs us that “some students were served the scallions” like instead of tasting like raw onions the scallions were full of lead paint, but that’s still unpleasant.

Conservatives are probably right that insisting that children eat green vegetables, even ones that are supposed to be eaten raw, is a giant leap towards facism. How soon until they hold knives to our children’s throats (there are no guns in Socialist Nazi-land) and demand that Little Billy eat an entire raw pumpkin! Vote Herman Cain in 2012 to stop this…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 27, 2011 at 10:22 am

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