E PLURIBUS MORON

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A fun fun fun post about prison crowding!

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You know what people always think is hilarious? Stories about prison crowding. Well strap yourselves in and file your tooth brushes down to a point because I’m writing a post about the sad state of America’s prisons…

Actually this story has some good news in it! Yesterday the Supreme Court affirmed a Federal Court’s ruling that the state of California must release around 40,000 low-level offenders from its prisons because it’s massive overcrowding has created unconstitutionally awful conditions.

Indeed, because Cali’s prisons are at something like 8000% capacity, in some facilities 54 inmates share a single toilet. That’s only barely constitutional when it is part of a hazing ritual for a 9th grade class at an all boys private school. And at least those kids end up being Congressmen! I think we can be for punishing prisons without being monsters.

Did I say “we”? I forgot Justice Antonin Scalia who, being the awful prick that he is, called the ruling “staggering” and “absurd” and saying it would lead to a massive crime wave. Scalia supports brutal prison conditions both because he is a “Constitutional Orginalist” (meaning he favors using the stocks and drawing and quartering) and because overcrowded prisons reminds that Italian boy of Mama Scalia’s delicious veal piccata.

Yum!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 24, 2011 at 9:38 am

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