E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

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Let me start this post by saying that unlike the 17th century Spanish court and Jackass, I don’t find dwarves to be particularly funny. Mostly I think that they’re people with disabilities and since we wouldn’t condone making fun of other people with disabilities, like Sarah Palin’s son with down syndrome or Josh Hartnett’s…down syndrome…why would we condone making fun of with dwarves?

News emerged earlier this week of anti-dwarf bias from America’s largest purveyor of stimulants: Starbucks. Ya see, the coffee giant fired an El Paso area employee because she was a dwarf, arguing her need for a stepping stool “could be a danger to customers and workers”. First of all, did they not notice she was a dwarf when they hired her? Secondly, how is a dwarf on a stool more dangerous with a steamer than the moody art students and brain-dead middle aged women who usually work at Starbucks? That’s just stupid.

Indeed, just from a marketing point of view, Starbucks should be careful not to alienate the dwarf/little person market. The coffee shop, with their massive beverages, oversized chairs and somewhat elfen music choice (I dare you to tell me that Nora Jones didn’t wander out from under a toadstool) shows us all what it’s like to be a little person and is thus reinforces our solidarity with littler Americans.

So I say enough! Starbucks better rehire this dwarf or face our overly caffeinated wrath! Now give me the bathroom key even though I am not a paying customer!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 18, 2011 at 8:45 am

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