E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

American Democracy is officially worthless

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For a while back in the winter I was planning on doing a series of profiles introducing the Republican Presidential candidates where I could talk about who they are, how they might lead and maybe make some penis jokes along the way. Sadly, today I feel like I should be developing profiles about candidates (like Haley Barbour and John Thune) who AREN’T running from President.

Today though came the greatest blow to our nation’s standing in the world since Pearl Harbor: Donald Trump has announced that he won’t run for President. Well let’s just roll the red carpet (and I do mean red) for the Chinese because America is finished. Check pleez!

There is no word yet as to whether or not his hair piece will run. I’m not picking sides here but I definitely feel it has a better chance of getting elected than Newt Gingrich does…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm

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