E PLURIBUS MORON

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Which spice rub will you name your child after?

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While I was away on vacation, a giant pile of blood and mucus burst forth out of Mariah Carey’s vagina. What’s that? Did she re-release the Glitter soundtrack? No, rather she gave birth to twins!

So what’s so silly about this? Well it seems as though Mimi and her sperm donor Nicholas Cannon, named their children Monroe, after Marilyn Monroe, and Moroccan, after the Moroccan style room on the “top tier of their New York apartment where Cannon first proposed”.

That poor child. I mean, the only thing dumber than naming your baby after an adjective would be being named after an adverb, right? Still, it doesn’t get much worse than Morocco, unless she was planning on naming her child Tunisia/Egypt/Bahrain and couldn’t for political reasons, but my guess is she just fell asleep in a pile of half eaten Moroccan Chicken Lean Cuisines after overdosing on B vitamins and the name kinda stuck.

So good luck Moroccan Carey Cannon! May your days…not be filled with Scientology.

PS-What a strangely perfect picture, right? I love you, Internet.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 9, 2011 at 4:51 pm

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