E PLURIBUS MORON

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Take that Proust! Thoughts on the Death and Osama Bin Laden

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Oh well that’s just fucking great. OF COURSE the second I take a vacation Barack Obama decides to shoot Osama Bin Laden in the head.

Now, one of the strange things about writing a blog about American lunacy is that when someone does something unquestionably well-planned and smart, like the Obama administration did here, I kind of don’t know what the say. Osama Bin Laden is really at the top of most people’s “Celebrities I’d like to see killed and dumped in the Indian Ocean” list so I’m pretty nonchalant when it comes to blogging about this story.

I will say two things about the aftermath of the successful attempt to kill the world’s most wanted man:

First of all, while I’d be reasonably happy if the Bush administration had gotten him too, it’s SO much better that Obama gets the credit for it. Successfully killing Bin Laden would have just made the Bush administration even more obnoxious and bellicose. Basically, you know that incessant need for self promotion that everyone hates in Donald Trump, especially when he gets something big (like the President releasing his birth certificate)? Well imagine that with nuclear weapons and you’ll get what I’m saying. However, because the Obama adminstration is a little more calm and demure, they treated this incident with a graceful understanding that seems to be an oxymoron in American politics.

Secondly, let’s talk dead body pics shall we? I say pictures of dead famous people should be treated the same way that we treat pictures of naked famous people. As you may know, the generally excepted standard for celebrity gross out pics are as follows: Always publish a nip-slip, attractive vag shot or impressive/embarassing weiner shot, occasionally publish a sex tape or a stranger nude picture (like the rare but dramatic celebrity anus shot), and finally we must refrain from celebrity corpse pics. As much as we like the occasional Kim Kardashin nip slip/sex tape, most of us dont want to see her corpse when she finally dies for being crushed by her giant ass; we should treat Bin Laden the same.

So there you have it, my thoughts on the death of Osama Bin Laden. I’d also like to give a shout out to Republicans for generally keeping quiet and a big thumbs up to Pakistan, for officially being the history’s most useless and dysfunctional ally. Enjoy our next billion dollar military aid check!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm

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