E PLURIBUS MORON

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This case would destroy Project Runway’s Panel of Judges

with one comment

This bit of news is great precident for any vegans trying to start a butcher shop or perhaps a bunch of virgins who want to start a bordello…

Last year U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker overturned California’s Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage, finding it unconstitutional. Rumors then swirled at that point that Judge Walker was gay (oh those court reporters are the meanest girls this side of Ru Paul’s Drag Race), which turned out to be true when Judge Walker later acknowledged he was in a long term committed relationship with another man.

While this shouldn’t matter at all, if you are one of the ignorant fucking lawyers defending Prop 8 a gay judge is a miscarriage of justice!

Ya see, lawyers for the ban’s backers “argue that the judge’s relationship status, not his sexual orientation, gave him too much in common with the couples (suing to overturn Prop 8)” and the decision ought to be thrown out. If this appeal goes through, does that mean that a divorced judge no longer here divorce proceedings? Not that I spend that much time in divorce court, but I’m guessing one rarely hears judges say “I’m gonna throw the book at you because that bitch Linda got custody of our Schnauser!” and thus a divorced divorce court judge isn’t a big deal.

Indeed, by setting a precident which says that gays should not be allowed to rule on gay issues would maybe keep women from ruling on women’s issues, Latinos from ruling on Latino issues or even Simon Cowell from issuing judgement on douchebag issues.

The other solution is just to hire judges with whom there is no doubt of their gayness so homophobes don’t feel so mislead. Pink judge robes look awesome with a big dildo-gavel! Indeed, to quote legal expert Homer Simpson, “You know me, Marge…I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and homosexuals fah-laming!”

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 26, 2011 at 4:51 pm

One Response

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  1. […] This case would destroy 'Project Runways' Panel of Judg… […]


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