BREAKING NEWS: By not ruining U.S., Fat Man ruins my blog
In a shocking turn of events, that ignorant Butterball turkey of a man know as Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, despite having been named the man Americans would “most like to receive a Tobacco Industry kick back from” has announced he has decided against running for President.
Is it indeed possible then that the Republican primaries will be entirely made up of boring guys like Romney and Pawlenty? And that with the exception of Michelle Bachmann there will be no fire breathing lunatics to liven the thing up?? Oh my god I’m hyperventilating! My blog…can’t function…without stupidity…
GAHHHHH!!! NEWT GINGRICH WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER MY “911 EMERGENCY” TEXTS?!?!!?!?!?!?!
PS-Okay the Klonopin is helping. I thought I’d just let you guys know I’m adding a new “Elections” category so that my readers can peruse all the best stupid election news in STYLE.