E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Viva il Empiro Americano!

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Rome had it’s roads. Great Britain had its mighty Navy. And the key to the success of the American Empire is…probably our trashy TV. So any puny country that tries to get in the way of that machine will face consequences!

I say this because the mayor of Florence has announced severe limitations what the cast of The Jersey Shore can be filmed doing when they bring their ridiculous shit show across the Atlantic in a few weeks. Mayor Matteo Renzi has barred MTV cameras from filming “in bars and clubs that serve alcohol”. They are also forbidden from promoting “Florence as a drinking town” but rather they must “promote Italy (not Americans visiting Italy) and feature its culture and good food”. How dare that Mayor Renzi have so much class?

Well, if they can’t get film them getting into drunken bar fights, at least they can pound Red Bull and Gasoline and go watch Snooki try to dry hump Michelangelo’s David, right (insert quote of Snooki talking about his small dick)? Oh no! They’re a step ahead of us! Mayor Renzi has also banned “filming…inside any of the city’s historic buildings”.

This is bullshit! To arms brothers! We invaded Italy in WWII and made it safe for freedom, and so we can do it again. We will not take this offense to our great Empire of Television lying down/passed out in a Florentine gutter.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm

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