E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Drunk babies are the new high babies

with one comment

As you know, the blog is VERY concerned with ensuring the coolness of our nation’s babies and apparently we’re not the only ones concerned with this matter! Shitty chain restaurants across the country seem to be doing their very best to turn America’s toddlers into cool drunks.

Coming right on the heals of Applebees serving a booze to a baby in Michigan (are things so bad in Michigan that they give the babies liquor?), another case of drunk babies has come to light when a Florida Olive Garden served sangria to a toddler. So what’s the common denominator in these ridiculous stories? It’s the fact that they went to such deep fried crap purveyors! Have you ever seen the dead eyed stair of a waiter or chef at one of those awful strip mall restaurants? Basically, shitty restaurants breed shitty workers, and shitty workers confuse sangria with apple juice (also Olive Garden sangria? Gross).

There is a way to eat and get drunk on cheap food without getting your baby all drunk and stuff! Trust me, I know this stuff: I was a college student.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 14, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , ,

One Response

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  1. […] “The Drunk Baby Trend” is a direct rip-off of my pulitzer prize reading winning article about Drunk Babies. So back off, okay? That, and babies using bongs, are MY jawn, […]


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