E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Finally the Confederates get their victory

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With the Government Shutdown looming just hours away, it is slowly becoming apparently who the victims of this ridiculous political impasse will be: the Union Brigade at Fort Sumter. Or ya know the troops/old people/the poor/everyone else. Whatever.

Ya see, because the Federal Park Service is deemed a nonessential government agency (Who will protect us from Mountain Lions now then?), if/when the government shuts down all National Parks will close, devastating the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Fort Sumter and its re-enactment. 

Well my friends, now that Glenn Beck is retiring, let me step into the conspiracy theory void: this whole shut down, nay the entire Tea Party revolution, was undertaken to make people forget how awful the Confederacy was! Think about it: The descendents of the same racist anti-government zealots who started the Civil War (~cough~ Jim DeMint ~cough~) are intentionally shutting down the government to hide the fact the South both started and lost the War Between the States.

Well history lovers, I say don’t let them take away your right to re-enact the Civil War. But on your finest beards, get your best musket, get super drunk (that’s why people become re-enactors in the first place) and go demand a functioning government! Just don’t dress up like a Nazi like that Tea Party guy did

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

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