In Memorium: Glenn Beck
Today, cable TV lost a giant. No, the lead on TLC’s Big Loves Little: A Giant-Midget Marriage has not died. Rather, it is my sad duty to report that Glenn Beck will be parting ways with Fox News and ending his BREATH TAKING television apocalypo-thon. WHO WILL SELL ME GOLD NOW?!?!
To sooth our nation’s devastated soul, I’ve written a song (okay, completely stolen) to honor this great figure in Television who truly pushed the limits of how many weepy paranoid conspiracy theories can fit into one hour of day time cable news.
Another turning point; A fork stuck in the road (owned by George Soros???)
Time grabs you by the wrist; Directs you where to go (like a socialistic fascist)
So make the best of this task and don’t ask why (we must ask why!). It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time (a lesson hopefully not taught by ACORN’s public outreach programs).
It’s something unpredictable (like the price of gold)/ But in the end it’s right (right to Sharia law!). I hope you had the time of your life.
God I’ll miss his wackiness next time I’m unemployed.