E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Michele Bachmann’s BFF hits DC hard

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Who needs budget cuts when you can just go fuck up discretionary spending with your own two hands!

Last friday a woman named Susan Burns was arrested at the National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C. after she attacked Paul Gaughin’s painting Two Tahitian Women. None of this would be particularly exceptional (going to the National Mall on the first weekend in April would drive anyone crazy), but her statement to the police left quite a ~hahahaha~ impression. Burns told investigators “I feel that Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. He has two women in the painting and it’s very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned. I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.”

I’m sorry, but how different does any of this stuff sound from the average Tea Partier? Sure she cares a little more about homosexuals than she does the National Debt, but since the woman clearly dislikes all that tax payer money we waste “promoting the arts”, her blend of cultural and fiscal conservativism could appeal to a broad section of the Republican base. Ladies and gentleman, I present you with the new G.O.P. 2012 presidential front runner!

In response, Donald Trump has announced that he will one up Ms. Burns by purchasing and eating Monet’s The Boat Studio. Bon Appetit Monsieur Hair-piece!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 5, 2011 at 1:50 pm

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