E PLURIBUS MORON

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Has Hollywood lost it’s Marples?

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It’s is a general accepted truth that most sequels are awful. Do you remember the Jurassic Park one where a T-Rex destroyed downtown San Diego? My point exactly. However, while sequels are usually just the original movies without a decent director and with a few more nipples, the reboot is often awesome. The James Bond reboot where they turned him from a prissy Pierce Brosnan to an ass kicking Daniel Craig? Awesome.

Unfortunately, Disney recently announced it will do its best to ruin the reboot by doing a new version of Miss Marple, Agatha Christie’s famous elderly detective, starring fucking Jennifer Garner. Am I the only one who thinks this is a little sexist? No one would ever watch a reboot of Batman starring Justin Bieber, but we’re supposed to believe that the chick from Alias can play a role most recently held by that sex symbol Angela Lansbery? Fuck.

So Disney, please call off this movie. Unless of course you plan to do a full scale Golden Girls reboot starring the Olsen Twins (as Dorothy and Sophia), Miley Cyrus (as Blanche) and Rebecca Black (as Rose). That would be a TRIUMPH for feminism.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm

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