E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Muslim Seinfeld here we come!

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If nothing else, we should credit Newt Gingrich with having a colorful imagination. His spirit of child-like wonder brought him to speak about his faith at a Texas megachurch this past Sunday, where he told the audience that if they did not act on their beliefs America would become “a secular atheist country” dominated “radical Islamists.”

And you thought atheist radical Islamists were an oxymoron. Well they’re not and I’ll tell you why: America is already dominated by one radical and atheist religion: modern Judaism. Five minutes with my mother will convince you that it’s possible to be both pushy and obsessed with one’s religion and completely uninterested in that faith’s spiritual aspects.

And this is something we should welcome! Atheist Jews have produced everything wonderful in this world, from Seinfeld to the New York Times (but not decent bagels. Those are still best made by people who actually give a shit about the laws of the Judaism). I for one welcome a Muslim version of that atheist Jewish classic Space Balls.

In related news, is Gingrich even pretending to run for president any more? His words lately, from the aforementioned gem to his crazy flip flop on the bombing of Libya, seem to suggest he lacks the diplomacy skills/sanity to run the world’s lone super power, let alone a Burger King. Indeed, Gingrich’s diplomatic philosophy seems to boil down to asking people to PLEASE go fuck themselves.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 30, 2011 at 9:16 am

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