E PLURIBUS MORON

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The Great Recession makes luxuries disaPEAR

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Jefferson and Adams. Abbott and Costello. Sony and Cher. Some pairings have come to define eras in American history, and today sadly we have learned that a tremendous epoch in our nation’s history is now over: you no longer will be able to send people shitty fruit in the mail (with such ease).

Harry and David, America’s most favorite pear salesman/gay power couple (take that Ben and Jerry), has announced that it filed bankruptcy. The company was apparently in $198 million in debt, which for those of you who can only think about pears right now, is roughly 198 million normal pears and about 4800 at Harry and David prices.

I’ve never understood the appeal of Harry and David, as it seemed like whenever people at college I knew received their stuff the pears were hard as a rock. How did these people build an empire off of the idea that “ya know what? People should send their college-age children/unloved in-laws never-ripening fruit and shitty granola in the mail.” Recessions are nasty business but ya know what? Sometimes they kill of lumbering luxury dinosaurs.

 In related news the luxury dinosaur factory has also closed.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 28, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , ,

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