Fuck baseball, wealthy tax dodging is America’s true past time
Wait, it’s tax season again? Ugh this shit is like health care reform! Haven’t we all agreed the country would just be a lot happier without it? I know my friends at the yacht club and I would be. It looks like however some people are finally taking the proactive steps we need to balance our nation’s tax problems: namely the crushing tax burden on rich people and their successful companies. Oh the world is cruel!
Those pioneers in smart governmental policy in Arizona are taking the lead by trying to instate a flat state income tax. Taxes for the top 10% of Arizona’s residents will decrease where as the bottom 90% fucking per cent will see tax increases. Tax increases? If that sounds barbaric and like something we as a society realized was wrong in the 19th century, well, it is Arizona. No doubt their State House will soon roll out a “Drill here for Whale Oil, Drill now for Whale Oil” initiative in the near future.
Over in oppressed Corporate-Americastan, General Electric, which made a whopping $14.2 billion in profits last year has announced that, thanks to its ninja accountants it will pay NO U.S.taxes this year. In fact, it even managed to “(claim) a tax benefit of $3.2 billion.” Oh good! We owe them money. Can I also pay their CEO to kick me in the testicles? If I don’t than I’m a socialist!
So if these stories make you seeth with populist rage, just remember: taxes are just the governments way of letting us say thank you to the rich people and corporations that employee us (until the next round of lay offs). I love you so much, selfish rich assholes.