E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

NYC Mom: My 4 year old is a failure

with one comment

Oh dear lord what will happen to this child when she’s forced to go to Northwestern??

As if the college application process hadn’t become insane enough already, Nicole Imprescia, the future focus of her daughter’s therapy sessions, is suing her 4-year-old’s tony New York City pre-school for jeopardizing her daughter’s “chances of getting into an elite private school or, one day, the Ivy League”.

Wow, could this woman be dumber? Crippling your child is a much better way of assuring they’ll get into an elite school, as that inspiring personal essay “The day my mother ran me over with her Lexus” would be admissions gold.

Imprescia’s chief complaint was that the $19,000 a year pre-school wasn’t properly preparing her child, who likely just mastered not defecating on herself, for the ERB’s (and thus the SAT) because the place was run like “a play room”. A pre-school run as a play room? Disgusting. No doubt her law suit against the pre-school will be bolstered by Ms. Imprescia successful previous lawsuit, when she sued the cemetery that hosted her Grandfather’s interment for breach of contract with its bad party planning, alleging in court papers that “it was like a goddamn funeral out there!”

This whole story, and the growing litigiousness of America’s hyper-involved parents, make me think that there is a new market for books for children who are at the center of frivolous law suits. Any takers for The Berenstein Bears’ Custody Battle or Per my legal obligations I must wish you a Goodnight, Moon?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 21, 2011 at 1:54 pm

One Response

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  1. As a graduate of an Ivy League University, I’d like to tell you that I’ve met this girl. And this girl? Totally becomes a stripper.

    leahfranqui

    March 23, 2011 at 2:37 pm


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