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Misguided Mormon March Madness Muff-hunting

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New England Bed and Breakfasts. Antique throw pillows. Brigham Young University Sex Scandals. What do they all have in common? They’re so darn quaint!

Brigham Young University, the only college in America where the students aren’t all damned to hell, is in the midst of a ground breaking sex scandal as their star basketball forward Brandon Davies has been dismissed because ~gasp~ he had pre-marital sex with his girlfriend. Oh the horror! Someone cover my wives’ ears.

Pre-marital sex is a big no-no on that extra conversative campus (I’m not sure about rim jobs and rusty trombones before matrimony though…), and it looks like BYU students have accepted that it’s better to be pure at heart than have any shot at March Madness. This is a lesson Oberlin College’s 4,305th ranked team has not yet learned.

But bully for them Mormons! I mean, to get suspended from the NBA you have to have sexually assulted someone and NOT bought your wife a huge diamond ring. Perhaps if they had the same strict moral standards NBA players could stop sucking up to Jesus everytime they win a game…


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Posted in Sports

Tagged with , , , ,

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