Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Will you be honeymooning at Auto-Zone or Ikea?

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There’s nothing quite like watching a bride tearfully realize that she has found the dress of her dreams, then after embracing her partner going and buying…a 10 pound tub of margarine.

While this fantasy may not happen at your local Vera Wang store, it will soon be happening at your local Costco when they start selling wedding dresses later this year.  I guess they’re trying to capitalize on the fact that Americans get divorced the first time Charlie Sheen threatens them with a knife at the drop of a hat, so they have begun marketing to the woman who needs a 6-pack of wedding dresses.

Of course there is one problem with this news: while I do know a lot of bourgeois people who secretly love Costco, the wedding gowns will cost between “$699 to $1,399”. Anyone with that kind of money to blow on a gown will either shop at a store that doesn’t sell industrial sized boxes of spermacide or will get distracted on their way to the bridal section and accidentally buy 3 plasma TVs/an entire cow’s worth of meat.

Better stick to buying stuff for your nuptuals at a really romantic store like Target or Gary’s Damaged Discount Appliance Zone.


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 2, 2011 at 10:31 am

One Response

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  1. So timely and just. Saw Charlie’s interview last night and wondering how his image will be incorporated into Bro-Icing and other nascent homo-erotic meat-head activities.


    March 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

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