E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Kim Kardashian’s “Jam” (a fork in my eye)

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Yea, we have a just and loving God. And because the Host of Hosts wants you to be happy, he has timed the release of Kim Kardashians first song “Jam (Turn It Up)” to coincide with a spike in oil prices that will surely keep anyone from using their car, and more importantly its radio, ever again. Take a listen, if you dare…

Once you’ve recovered from your cerebral hemorrhage, let’s discuss this club jammer. First of all, it’s nice to see someone singing about having a good time at a club! I feel like there are so many songs, like Usher’s “Sweaty and Disgusting” and Ke$ha’s “$7.50 for a Miller Lite? Fuck You!” that paint nightlife spots in such a negative light. Kudos, KK!

On the other much less sarcastic hand, this song is terribly terribly ill-conceived. We live in a culture where celebrities, especially those with nothing more to offer than a gigantic ass and a E! reality show, over brand themselves. First it’s lip gloss, then a perfume and then a sex tape; Ms. Kardashian has done all three, and that’s why deciding to become a music star is particularly offensive. She doesn’t even sound that interested in music when she sings the song, and the fact that the Kardashians made $65 million last year makes the whole thing just that much worse too.

So please, fans of other irono-pop songs like “Tardy for the Party” and “The Stars Are Blind”, please take your pastors (albeit somewhat differently intentioned) advice to ignore your natural impulses and don’t make this thing happen for her.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm

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