E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Portly Pooches and Corpulent Kitties

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Well it looks like the days of pets starving themselves to look like those gorgeous Hollywood dog actors (Eddie from Frasier had a notorious battle with bulimia/heart worm) are OVER.

Once a phenomenon contained to the Cheesecake Factory in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor, a new study by the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention (I can’t imagine what their Holiday Party is like) reports that over half of America’s pets are obese. I blame Paris Hilton for both making it trendy to carry dogs in purses and the purse industry for producing ever larger purses to contain our ever more obese pets.

And while you might think that people would only be cruel and stupid enough to let their dogs and cats get this ridiculously unhealthy, the Cleveland Zoo has recently announced that their Gorilla’s are so overweight that they’ve been put on a diet. Pshh typical lazy immigrants to America getting fat off our delicious “processed zoo biscuits”.

You know who we need to fix this problem? Bo Obama. If Michelle Obama can make it her life mission to turn Bok Choy into a multi-billion dollar industry, so too can her dog.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

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