E PLURIBUS MORON

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Counter-point: Born this gay

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Every once and a while we like to feature the opinions of other, prominent Americans on this blog. So here is a critique from Jon Aronchick, our DC Bureau Chief, on the new Lady Gaga single:

Oh Gaga. You clever little devil. With the release of your new single, “Born this Way,” I am left concluding that you are a genius.

Not because the song is the stuff of goodness. To the contrary, its vomit. Well, more like the vomit that comes from the binge-drinking, dancing-on-x blackout that the song sounds like. But I’m sure the gays will love it, largely because most of us are in frequent binge-drinking, dancing-on-x blackouts. For me, the song just makes me dizzy. Seriously, what is wrong with her voice? It’s so high! It sounds like she sat inhaling helium balloons in the recording studio before dropping the track. While my colleague feels like it will serve as a great soundtrack for a coming out of the closet montage, I contend that it will be put to better use as the promo for the next Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel, Chipmunks in Chelsea.

The song also sounds so…simplistic? The melody is catchy, but in a very annoying way. But its also so cliché—I feel like I’ve heard it before. The lyrics are generic and NOT catchy like the usual ale-ale-jandro brilliance that she produces. The song is also too upbeat. Bad, Gaga, Bad! We like you because your music is WEIRD and SINISTER and SEXY and WEIRD and DARK and WEIRD. This is none of those things.

So why is she a genius? Because I think she realized she had one taaaaaaaaaaall order to serve after she tweeted all around town how this album was going to be the best album of the decade. This dreck is clearly meant to lower our expectations so that we end up loving the disc.

Thanks for being funnier than me, Jon!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 11, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Posted in From the editor

Tagged with ,

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