Keep your government hands off my medicare!

“Kennedy”+”Wild Turkey”=Not a story about alcoholism?

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Heads up Vanity Fair: there is finally an exciting story about the excesses of the Kennedy family that you haven’t beatn like a dead horse.

So what’s the news? Maybe an out of control nephew? A pregnant baby sitter or a pool-boy sex tape? Nope, this story involves Ethel Kennedy, the widow of Robert F. Kennedy, who if I am not mistaken must be about 9,000 years old. After intense scrutiny Mrs. Kennedy admitted she was the owner of “a hostile wild turkey that attacked a postal truck on Cape Cod last week.” ~in a bad Kennedy voice~ Errr, uhhh, huh-wut?

It seems as though Mrs. Kennedy got the turkey to teach her grandchildren about Thanksgiving, but why they left a live wild turkey with a woman who attended the first Thanksgiving dinner is beyond me. I just love this news story because of how deeply strange it is, and how it may be the missing piece of evidence finally solving the mystery of the JFK assassination!


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

February 3, 2011 at 8:38 pm

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