E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Snow the humanity!

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Oh my god everyone, my neighborhood of South Philadelphia has been turned into a post apocalyptic hell scape by a devastating snow storm! Public transportation is almost non-existant, everyone on the streets now dresses in rags and people have developed a strange pigeon dialect of grunts and moans! Oh wait, there never was any public transport, those people in rags are just hipsters in their winter gear and that weird dialect is just what my obese Italian neighbors yell at each other every day.

Yes, a snow storm has walloped the East Coast, and what’s amazingly stupid about it is that I have to go to work! Damn Philadelphia and its non-chalance. Did you know that there was thunder snow last night? Thunder snow! That shit would have ever freaked out the vikings! Yet I have to come in and pretend I’m doing stuff for a few hours today. Where is the justice in that?

I hope you all get heat stroke from drinking hot chocolate under your warm fluffy comforters!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

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