E PLURIBUS MORON

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Google Image Search has too few usable pictures of “Cyborg Cows”…

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Once you have read my second post about tacos in a week (guess who’s on their period!) you will come to the inescapable conclusion that….you probably shouldn’t eat tacos—or just not one from taco bell or the state of Arizona anyway.

In a news story that I used to think was just an urban legend, an Alabama law firm has filed suit in a California court against Taco Bell, claiming that the overweight-19-year-old-stoner’s favorite franchise is engaging in false advertising when they call their meat products “ground beef”. The firm claims to have tested the “ground beef” and “found it contained less that 35 percent” animal product. I’ll give that a minute to sink in, both because it’s shocking and because that Taco Bell gordita you just finished is surely shredding the inside of your colon.

Only 35% beef? My god what horrors make up the remaining 65%?? Oh sure, Taco Bell claims it’s “wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent and modified corn starch”, but we all know that’s a lie. “Dusting agent” doesn’t taste like that. I’m inclined to believe it’s made up of the remains of Amelia Earhart, the real Kennedy assassin, the fake lunar lander and Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate.

So carry on Alabama law firm! Fight the good fight against those sleazy idiot s at Taco Bell and get us all a big spicy truth filled chalupa.

PS-Those lion tacos we talked about were pulled off that restaurants menu. And they could vouch for their ridiculous PR stunt meat. Ball’s in your court, Taco Bell

PPS-Tehehe “Ball’s”

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. […] before you read this post you should know that while it appears the blog is becoming entirely about taco based news, it’s just an illusion caused by the delicious mix of soft tortillas, spicy salsa and the […]

  2. […] Of course 12% less of a 24 oz porterhouse steak from IHOP is still a shocking quantity of meat for almost all cultures. I am confident though that Americans will weather this meat drought:as we recently learned, Puerto Rico will fix this problem by selling us all cheap and tasty iguana meat. Also we learned last year Taco Bell’s ground meat hardly has any actual meat in it. […]


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