E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Not again! Damn you Father Time!

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In a move that will surely crush Republicans throughout Connecticut, Joe ~sob~ Lieberman ~sob~ will not run ~sob~ for reelection in 2012 ~sob sob sob~! Lieberman and Regis in the same week? My god this has been a tough day for Northeastern stay-at-home moms who are still pretty darn sure Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction.

In related news, upon hearing the aforementioned information, the state of Florida has decided to offer the retiring cantankerous full-of-shit Hebrew senator the position of GOD. Oh sure, as a Jew I know that we have tried worshiping false idols before and it hasn’t gone well, but since Lieberman has so much experience playing political god by stopping progress to make sure everyone in the whole fucking country knows what he thinks, he has good on the job experience.

A golden calf? Please, I’ll take a golden Droopy Dog any day!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 19, 2011 at 8:11 am

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