E PLURIBUS MORON

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Presidential Zombie Football

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Football is a sport that is notoriously easy on it’s players. I mean, if I read another story about a tight end turning 65 and not having massive brain damage I’m gonna puke, right?

That’s why the following announcement makes so much sense: besides NOT featuring the Minnesota Vikings, the 2011 Super Bowl will host a tribute to the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan ~a bunch of white haired country club members start jumping up and down and screaming like girls at a Justin Bieber concert~.

So I find this all a little perplexing. What does Ronald Reagan have to do with football? Sure he played the Gipper in a movie but he wasn’t an actual football player- President Ford was. And why don’t the honor other presents at sporting events the way Reagan’s ghost got handed this sweet deal? Where is the tribute to Bill Clinton at the Hawaiian Tropic Beauty Contest? Or George W. Bush at the Special Olympics (ohh 2004-burn).

Well, I guess there’s finally something that will make Republicans watch football besides the rampant homoeroticism.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 7, 2011 at 8:44 am

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