E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Michele Bachmann you’re, like, really pretty

with one comment

Maybe this news is what killed those blackbirds….

The Minneapolis Star Tribune revealed today that none other than Michele “Aaaaah aaaaah I’m gonna eat your face!!!!” Bachmann is considering running for President. I can’t tell if I just got a news boner or not (damn these skinny jeans!).

I mean, Michele Bachmann has the electability of, say, Courtney Love. So while it might be good for a creepy laugh, this story is so sad, evil and ridiculous that only one moronic Machiavelli could be behind it: Sarah Palin.

You see, Palin is the most popular girl in school, and as the Gretchen Weiners to her Regina George, Bachmann would only run for president if Palin told her to do it (so as to ultimately make Ms. Alaska more palatable). It’s kind of like secretly giving your sex partner the bubonic plague to make telling them that you also gave them genital herpes less awkward, and since Bachmann probably wants to shut down the C.D.C. and the Department of Education, this wacky chain of analogies make sense.

See, even in these uncertain times I can always bring these posts back to a central, if frighteningly stupid, point.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

January 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm

One Response

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  1. Funny your the idiot. She is the front runner.

    K. Porter

    August 23, 2011 at 5:44 am


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