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Check out the Golden Globes on these idiots

with one comment

Get out yer stink bait, lock momma in the barn, and pull out yer fahnest Dolchay and Gabana because awards season is here! Hooo weee!

Now I know what you’re thinking: aren’t the Golden Globes to the Oscars as the Special Olympics are to the regular Olympics? Surely no ceremony that has awarded Madonna‘s acting abilities and sustains the existence of that blood banshee Joan Rivers should be heralded as an event. But these awards, whose nominees you can check out here, serve as a reminder as to why the Oscar’s are awesome because of there unrelentingly moronic nominations.

For instance, this year the Golden Globes nominated The Tourist for best motion picture comedy or musical. The film, starring Angelina Jolie and a showered Johnny Depp, has been called a “boring, bland…self-indulgent vanity piece” and “a big star misfire of epic proportions”, might seem an odd choice for “best” picture. But because the Golden Globes has the cinematic credibility of, say, a Youtube video of a man dressed Santa getting hit in the nuts, a film like this will slide by no matter how generally awful and stupid everyone thinks it is.

So here’s an experiment I am proposing to test the stupidity of the Golden Globes: George Clooney, Amy Adams and, oh, Ke$ha should star in a hilarious, musical theater filled snuff film. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association will eat that shit up!


Written by Your Benevolent Editor

December 14, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Posted in Show Business

Tagged with ,

One Response

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  1. Piper. Perabo. As in, Cheaper by the Dozen. As in, sticking a pen in my eye to make it stop. Golden Globe nominee. The hell?


    December 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm

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