E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Four Loko is dead: Long live Four Loko!

with 2 comments

Oh my god are you guys still talking about Four Loko? That shit is so over. Why not just discuss Tickle-Me-Elmo and Paul Hogan’s movie career? Loser.

But lo, time moves on, and now the media can start freaking out about another thing that is going to be the death of every college student in America: alcoholic whipped cream. Whipped Lightning, as it’s known, is something like 40 proof and comes in nine yummy flavors. Just think of the time you’ll save when you can now get drunk as you eat pie instead of getting drunk and THEN eating pie.

But naturally America’s lamest and stupidest demographic, i.e. anyone over 22 years old, is slowly getting upset about Whipped Lightning. But come on! Alcohol and whipped cream go together like caffeine and carbonated skittle wine. Indeed, booze and whipped cream are the basis of every orgy since Ancient Greece (which makes it perfect for your next college toga party!).

Sigh I miss college and all it’s excuses to mix dairy products and ethanol…

PS-This is my 300th post! Thanks, crazy internet people.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 29, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. I would, I would just spread that all over some boy and lick it off. That’s what I would do. And I would get drunk doing it. Screw Four Loko, this looks like it’s going to have Us Weekly style ramifications and I can’t wait.

    leahfranqui

    November 29, 2010 at 11:11 pm

  2. …and you dont look a day over 267!

    DLewisLeipz

    November 30, 2010 at 3:01 pm


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