E PLURIBUS MORON

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Can’t we just re-animate Bob Hope’s corpse?

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Is our nation facing some sort of stand up comedy shortage? I mean I know that television networks gave Dmitri Martin’s drawing pad its own TV show, but have we really been reduced to this? I’m gonna blame Global Climate Change for the following story…

Nikki Finke, who I feel like I went to college with, is reporting that the this year’s Academy Awards will be hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway. What? Why? That’s retarded. Are they gonna show clips of the good movies these people have been in, or will we be treated to the finest moments of Deuces Wild and Bride Wars?

Are you wondering just how the ancient and out of touch people who lead the Academy reached this decision? Well here’s the just-released transcript:

Old Jew 1: Who do vee vant to host dis year’s Oscars?

Old Jew 2: We’re ordering lunch from Oscars? I’ll have the Reuben.

Old Jew 3: I don’t trust that Spanish maid of mine! She’s says she’s Mexican but I know she’s a Franco supporter.

Old Jew 1: Vat? Veer using James Franco?

Old Jew 2: No I said Russian dressing! Meet me half way here you fershluggineh deli people.

Old Jew 1: Meet Anne Hathaway?

Old Jew 3: Then it’s settled, we’ll used Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Now let’s all go get us some sexy Shikseh fifth wives!

All: Hooray!

Soooo yeah. This will be interesting. Let’s hope we see Anne Hathaway’s boobs. Or James Franco’s. I’m not a picky man.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

November 29, 2010 at 2:44 pm

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