E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Yurtle the vindictive Turtle

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You know whether they like to admit it or not, a lot of people were seduced by Barack Obama’s cool attitude and soaring rhetoric. Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, however has all the seduction skills of the average turtle.

I mean, he’s not really trying to nail everyone in America (thank god), he’s really just trying to nail one person: Barack Obama. To a cross. Ya see McConnell said today that “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Finally! A concrete policy promise from the Republican party.

But you know what? That’s a moronic thing to say, not only because we’re engaged in two wars, an economic crisis, and global climate change, but also because it’s just so not sexxxy.

Imagine for a second, two men are hitting on you at a bar. A handsome urbane mixed race man says “I want to forge a deep, multi-layered connection with you” and a bespectacled 68-year-old telling you “the single most important thing…is for me to fuck you.” Unless you want to pasty wheezing McConnell to drip sweat on you from his enormous jowls, you’ll probably take the former.

I guess they do say that turtle meat is an aphrodisiac…….GROSS.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 26, 2010 at 5:48 pm

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