E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Now I know why it’s a viral video: It makes me want to puke.

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(The scene opens on a drab office where three interns, Katie, Dan and Gay Dan, sit doing nothing):

Katie: Oh my god Gay Dan that youtube video is SOOO funny. I watched it like, a bajillion times during finals at BU.

Gay Dan: I know right? Hey Dan, wanna stop thinking about boobs for a second and come see this awesome video? I’m such a bitch!

Dan: Oh is this that Antoine Dodson video? “Hide your kids, Hide your wife”? I’ve seen this. That’s a terrific doo-rag.

Gay Dan: God this internship is boring. Wanna use my fake ID to buy us some Lemon Rum and get drunk in the break room?

All: Hooray!

Okay so we’ve all been in this situation (especially those of us trapped in the perpetual internship grind), but did you know that the Antoine Dodson video, in it’s own uniquely disgusting and thoughtless way, is trying to make our communities safe?

Jezebel is reporting that Dodson, who became famous because of a rant against attempted rapists, has become the pitchman for an iPhone app that tracks sex offenders. First of all, they already have an iPhone app that maps out sexual predators: it’s called Grindr (jk Gay Dan the intern!). Secondly, if you are spending so much time on your iPhone that this map is necessary, I’m pretty sure it’s time to put down the smart phone and go do some parenting.

Yeah I just think this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. But maybe I’m just fighting slow creep of inevitability: it looks like the only way to get a job in this country is to become a pop-culture sensation and then sell an unnecessary iPhone app related to that notoriety. If it worked for The Situation, surely it will work for Antoine Dodson too.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 25, 2010 at 3:49 pm

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